Fascist Fries and Small Potatoes

The United States, the only remaining super power on the planet, is about to unilaterally bomb the shit out of and invade a sovereign country on the pretext that that country represents a clear and present danger to the security of the United States. As other, more civilized countries of the world line up to protest this flagrant violation of international law, some “patriots” in this country are seeking to ban products from and things named after these countries. Well not all countries. What we have is the attempt by many who couldn’t even find France on a map to belittle, humiliate, and castigate another sovereign country, simply because it doesn’t agree with current U.S. foreign policy.

It’s easy enough to say that I do not agree with the manner in which this foreign policy is being carried out, but this isn’t (really) an essay on G. W. Bush getting his war on to distract us all from the insidious policies that he is perpetrating on all of us. Instead, I want to make a comment about these French bashers. I find the renaming of “French Fries” and “French Toast” to “Freedom Fries” and “Freedom Toast” laughable. Like this is going to influence anybody's foreign policy in any meaningful way. Instead, I see it more like the simple reaction of simple people to complex issues that they really have no true opinion on, just the parroted verbiage of their political mentors.

So Rep. Bob Ney, R-Ohio, and Rep. Walter Jones, R-N.C. have declared that France has aided and abetted terrorism by threatening to veto a United Nations resolution calling for the American colonization of Iraq. To show their displeasure, they’ve announced that the House cafeteria will now be selling “Freedom Fries” and “Freedom Toast” instead of that liberal, foreign influenced cuisine that they used to sell. I’m glad that we’ve got that out of the way. We really showed those Frenchies, didn’t we! Now that the debate has ended, we can get on to more serious things, like making certain vowels illegal, and declaring that nighttime no longer exists!

It’s a tenet of any debate on the Internet that the discussion can no longer progress once somebody calls somebody else a Nazi. Now while I have no evidence that these and other right wing wackos have SS storm trooper jackets in their closets (next to their white robes and hoods), and there’s no indication that they are in fact Nazis. However, they are fascists. From my handy dictionary, fascism is defined as:


A political philosophy, movement, or regime that exalts nation above the individual, and that stands for a centralized, autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, including forced suppression of opposition.

To me, this sounds like a guiding principle for the “You’re either wit us, or agin us” crowd. To opine that other countries aren’t even entitled to their opinions concerning our illegal acts is the height of fascism, as is the suppression of dissenting opinions.

So while you’re boycotting Evian water, and chowing down on your super-sized serving of “Freedom Fries”, remember that the French care not one whit about what you call them, only that you respect international law. And if they hold up a red card and call “foul”, there just might be the possibility that they’re right about this issue, especially when other members of the international community (Germany? Russia? China? Remember them?) just happen to agree that we are the renegades and the outlaws, and not to be trusted.

Copyright 2003 by Rich Webb, aka The Outsider.

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This page is authored and maintained by Rich Webb. You can send E-mail to me by following this link to the contact page. And feel free to contact me if you have any comments, criticisms, or suggestions. I remain, however, perfectly capable of ignoring your useless opinion...

This document was last modified on March 13, 2003, and has been viewed countless times.