Emp-Bro Column for Feb 97



So now I finally have the opportunity to have an honest to goodness Pres, excuse me, Emp-Bro column. In it, I would like to expouse the philosophy of club membership, and the joy of belonging...


I've given a lot of thought about membership in clubs. Over twenty years ago, my father was a president of the booster club for the local minor league hockey team. Remember the Portland Buckaroos? You're not alone, and it's obvious that the fan club alone was insufficient to prevent the demise of the Western Hockey League. I have no pretensions that the Brews Brothers are singularly responsible for the up-swing in the popularity of homebrewing in this country. We're not even responsible for the popularity of beer in the region. So why do we do it? How do we do it? And how do we do it better?


Why join a club anyway? As I stated before, if I have to pay twenty bucks a year to drink beer at my friend's house, I'm likely going to find another group, one that charges me less money to do what I want to do. Seventeen years ago, I was a dues paying member of MENSA, an organization whose criteria for membership was a genus I.Q., and the willingness to pay twenty bucks a year for the privilege. (Sound familiar?) For my money, I got a newsletter (nicely published on quality magazine stock), the opportunity to join sub-sets of the parent organization, called special interest groups (SIGs), and bragging rights regarding the great un-washed of humanity. The SIGs were interesting. For additional money, I got a newsletter (on not so nice paper stock, similar to the Brews News in scope and flavor), and the knowledge that there were in fact, others out there like me. In retrospect, it sounds like a great pyramid scheme, and in fact it was. There was little return on my "investment", save for the issues of newsletter. There were very few personal meetings in my area, and I presume that they took place at the homes of the members. Each SIG asked for additional dues to offset the cost of publication of the ubiquitous newsletter. And I got very little out out of the experience...


Today, I am the people my younger self warned me about. I take people's money, I give them a newsletter, and I give them a bit of bragging right. If I were content to leave it at that, I might just slit my throat, and you could find yourself another fearful leader. Instead, I choose the harder course, in that I intend to give you back some value for your money. If I somehow fall short, and you don't feel like you've gotten your money's worth, well, tough. In the words of our recently deposed Pres-Bro Pat Anderson: "No refunds". On the other hand, if I don't give you value, you're not likely to come back next year, and the dissolution of the club will be on my hands. Thusly, my goal is to make you happy to give the NEXT administration an additional twenty bucks, in order to go around on the roller coaster again...


My job, as your Emperor, is to plan and organize activities that make you feel good about the fleecing of the membership. I have a lot of resource with which to play. After all, almost everyone in the club (except me) is a past president of our august body, and I can rely on them for organizational assistance. And there is a ton 'o money in the bank with which to debauch. So here goes the E-ticket ride...


The first big club activity is scheduled for Saturday February 22, and will involve a big batch of big beer, made with your assistance and acquiescence. We'll show up at Larry's brewing in Kent at a yet to be determined hour, and have a great time making beer and making friends. After all, for your twenty bucks, you need to make as many friends as possible.


In March, we'll try to organize an assembly at a local brewery or pub. It may be on a week night, or it may be on a weekend. With proper warning and advance notification, we'll descend on some poor unsuspecting establishment, and demand entertainment. You've all been warned.


In May comes National Homebrew day, and the Impaling Alers have graciously offered to let us participate in this years debauch. The intent is to get together and brew at a remote location, making one of every established beer style in that single day. Plan your recipe now, and communicate it with the officers of the Alers to reserve your spot. If all you can make is American Amber ale, then you better get your spot spoken for now...


In June, I expect to see the first of the Motorcycle pub crawls. I have a hard time riding after drinking coffee, but I hear last year's motocross was fun, and I'm willing to give it a try this year...


There's a picnic to attend. There's Novembeerfest. The Alers have a camping trip planned, and we're invited. For that matter, we're invited to their picnic, and I see no reason we can't have them at ours. And I plan on a multi-club trip to Portland this fall. There was some discussion about taking the train down, or of going to the Okanoggen valley instead, but Portland was fun a couple of years ago when the Alers car-pooled down, and that wound up being no problem at all.


What else can we do? Well, I can only do so much. Without you, the word "club" becomes "clb", and that word makes no sense at all. If you have an idea or a suggestion as to what we can have fun doing, let me know. It's my freakin JOB to make it possible. But the pay is terrible, and I must motivate myself for optimum performance...


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This document was placed here on January 13, 1997, and has been viewed countless times.