Emp-Bro Column for March 1997

February meeting one for the ages!

I'm not sure that I could stand too many meetings like the one in February! Where to start? The company couldn't have been any better. The usual suspects and perpetrators both known and unknown. including Dick Livingston, Rob Nelson, the Palmers, Jack Haggins, Norm Hardy, Bob Fawbush, Avery Bishop, Rick Star, as well as some of the long lost, including Lynne Phillips, and the not so long lost but late arrivals, such as Jim Hinken and Joanne Collier. More persons whose names are either unknown or forgotten is the haze of debauchery. Much praise and applause for the host of the evening, the lovely Bruce Heath and his charming wife Brenda, and their very loud bird! But the special guests of the evening were the bugs. 50+ pounds of perfectly prepared crustacean who gallantly gave their lives for the pleasure and enjoyment of all in attendance. And not wanting them bugs to be lonely, they were accompanied in their sacrifice by mussels, corn, potatoes, onions, spicy sausage, various veggies, and the special mystery ingredient that Bruce, doctor of decopoda that he is, refuses to divulge, vowing to take the secret to his grave. We won't argue with success. Just know that you missed it, and you missed out!

April meeting site still a mystery!

Don't be dissuaded by the feeling that every meeting must be such a conceptual triumph. The meeting host is not required to arrange for food for the multitude, nor entertainment for the masses. (And if you do, we might even pass the hat to help you defray expenses, such as we did for the Heaths...) All that is required is a commitment of a place to hang out for a while. We even tell you well in advance when the occasion is to take place! It has advantages, don't you know. You would be the only one that doesn't have to worry about driving long distances in any sort of inebriated state following the meeting. As the ultimate party animal, the party doesn't stop until you go to bed! And you get to keep all of the leftover food resulting in the satiation of the attendees. Don't be bashful. Help out a Bro-club, and call your Emperor today to pledge your support as well as your pad for the April meeting. Come to think of it, the May meeting needs a host as well!

March site locked and loaded!

On the other hand, the Palmers have promised their best effort towards another killer meeting. Opening their doors at 4 pm, and taking the cover off of the hot tub at 4:01 pm, the Brethren will be able to compete in relay races, underwater belching contests, and the 300 inch crawl in the first of the Jacuzzi Olympics to ever coincide with a Brews Brothers meeting. If you haven't started training yet, get started, as the award for all around best beer athlete was stolen from Jim Koch's hoard of self pressed commemorative gold alloy coins, created by graduate art students at NYU to proclaim to the world his brewing of the "Best Beer in America" tm. For all of you devotees of Black's Beach, or Teddy Bear Cove, or Nudestock, keep in mind that the fence has knot holes, and that the neighbor children are very curious. And really, do you truly want to see any of the Brethren or Sistern in their tiniest Speedo short shorts?

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This document was placed here on February 14, 1997, and has been viewed countless times.